Monday, May 12, 2014

Hiking = Emotional roller coaster

It's not only the elevation that's changing.
******
The birds are chirping, the sky is blue and the sun is beaming over the horizon.

It is early for a Saturday, but you are a hiker, and early mornings do not deter you.

You are caffeinated.

You are are packed and ready to go.

You will (almost) definitely not miss the train.

The distant peaks cut a sharp outline on the horizon. They are calling you.

*********
As the train slides farther away from the city, more hikers appear onboard.

The mood is lively, (especially for a Japanese train),  crowded with brightly-colored backpacks, walking sticks, all the latest hiking fashions, and the sound of pre-hike onigiri being unwrapped.

And you are part of this.

You are so glad you got up this morning.

The views out the train windows are progressively more beautiful and impressive.

When you finally spill out the doors, the air is crisp and clear.

Your strides are sure, your pack feels light.

You are so glad you got up this morning.

******
Sh*t, this sucks.

You have been walking uphill for what seems like forever.

And a day.

Sweat drips everywhere. Your legs are heavy, each step requires effort.

Every time you turn a corner, the mountain magically grows.

You could still be sleeping right now.

You should be sleeping right now.

And while you're on the subject, you should have....

...had one less glass of wine last night.  and called your mother. and paid your credit card bill.

You might have (maybe been) kind of bitchy to your friend last week. She probably hates you.

What else can you berate yourself about?

Your heartbeat is a pounding drum, your thoughts a swirling mayhem.

You will never reach the top.

You are never doing this again.

***********

Sh*t this is amazing!

The summit had beautiful views, made more amazing by the fact that you had to earn them by sheer force of will and physical strength.

Your lunch was delicious, and the nap in the sun refreshed you.

This narrow ridgeline you are walking drops away in both directions, and you are ecstatic that you are here to tread the spine of the mountain. You feel exhilarated, inspired.... intrepid.

Even the wind joins in your joy, rustling leaves and sweeping over you, cool and sweet. It seems to nudge you along even faster.

You are, for the moment, alone in the universe.

You could walk for hours like this.

You hope it never ends.

***********
The trail begins to descend.

The wind, quieter now, slides through the sun-dappled lines of cedars on the mountainside with only a whisper.

The shade is cool and welcoming.

Your momentum carries you, your mind quiets.

Lost in the rhythm of your steps, you have time to reflect.

Your thoughts settle, your mind stills.

You are one with nature.

********
More downhill.

You are getting a little tired of this.

The silence has taken on an ominous tone.

Slightly dizzy from staring at the ground, you long for the ridge you recently left.

If you try to look up, your feet inevitably slip on a loose patch of rocks or a tree root.

In fact, you are almost sure that even the uphill from this morning would be preferable to this constant state of trying not to fall on your ass.

**********
Civilization is encroaching - chainsaws buzz, traffic hums, trains rumble.

The temperature is rising.

You just want it to be over.

*****
The trail has spit you out in a mountainside village, and you zig-zag the streets to the train station, feeling a bit smug.

Look at what you have accomplished - you have travelled far, and toiled hard.

Your mind returns to the heights you have recently left.

You would do anything to have that feeling again. And really, that climb from this morning (so long ago!) was not so bad after all.

This is your destiny.

You will return.